My Mostly Harmless Musings

Released into the wilds on February 1

one of the greatest mysteries ever written (by me).

The is the new must-read

It is the story of Caleb Jacobs, a man with a dark past. After serving on a failed dark ops assignment in Afghanistan, he leaves Marine Corps Intelligence to try to build a new life as a homicide police detective.

During an investigation, he becomes convinced the murder he is assigned to solve is related to the truth of what had happened during his time in Afghanistan. Old secrets have come back to haunt him.

Here is more information about it on goodreads.

Places I will be having signings this month (more to come):
February 1st at Barnes & Noble Moorsetown NJ.
February 15th at Barnes & Noble Marlton NJ.
Feburary 29th at Barnes & Noble Exton PA
More in March so stay tuned!

Here are the dates and locales for my February Virtual Book Tour
February 3: MythicalBooks - review only

February 4: Andi's BookReviews
February 5: Viviana MacKade
February 6: BooksChatter
February 7: AuthorC.A.Milson
February 10: Archaeolibrarian- I Dig Good Books! 
February 11: Rogue's Angels
February 12: Fabulousand Brunette
February 13: Lisa Haselton's Reviews and Interviews
February 14: Readeropolis
February 17: Danita Minnis
February 18: JazzyBook Reviews
February 19: Our Town BookReviews
February 20: It'sRaining Books
February 21: Locks, Hooks andBooks
February 24: Welcome to MyWorld of Dreams
February 25: All the Upsand Downs
February 26: IndependentAuthors
February 27: The Avid Reader
February 28: Long and ShortReviews

And now for some musings.

Do you like to travel? Yes? Well, here is Your Guide To Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village. I hope it helps. Really.

Here is some music to get you into the mood. For what, I don't know. Remember My stick is the best stick. Enjoy.

This seems like a harsh punishment.

Sign language interpreter steals show at Snoop concert. Enjoy!

That's it for now. Stay tuned for more.

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Like me on Facebook at David Siegel Bernstein (Come and see all the fun.)

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A Fan enjoying my book.





I still think Velcro is a rip-off.

My Mostly Harmless Musings

I'm sorry (for what comes next)

How does NASA organize a party?

They, Planet.

Remember I did apologize.

Hmmm? Do decimals have a point?

My friend and I want to know if you have a problem with that joke? Yeah, we thought not.

Anyway,

Here I am reviewing an advanced copy of my latest mystery.

Who lives? Who dies? The answers are coming (soon) to a store near you.

Here is the teaser:

A former US Marine teams up with a quirky investigator to solve a murder that is a piece of a much larger conspiracy. 

Check out this highly enjoyable (I'm being totally objective) Uncommon Interview of me in Wolf Notes.

The inhumanity. Children eating vegetables

And now for the question of this musing:

Did you know the only thing Flat-Earthers fear is sphere itself?

Are you a flat Death Star-er?

Remember take nothing but results. Leave nothing but assumptions.

That's it for now. Stay tuned for more.

Follow on Twitter @DavidBernstein

Like me on Facebook at David Siegel Bernstein (Come and see all the fun.)

Follow on Instagram @davidsiegelbernstein

Oh... there's this,

Pssst before leaving: Google Scotland's National Animal. You will discover what I've been searching for.

My Mostly Harmless Musings

I want to remind everyone: objects in the mirror are actually behind you.

(A Public Service Announcement brought to you by me... You are Welcome.)

I am happy to announce this November my new novel comes out. It is a mystery adventure. Does it contain a global conspiracy? Yes. Will the Earth survive? Probably. Is it even in danger in this book?  Nope. Only humans are eligible to be victims. Is there action? Oh yeah. Romance? You will have to read to find out. Don't worry Science Fiction, I'm not abandoning you. We will have a hookup soon.

In media stuff, I appeared on the Fact And Science Fiction podcast where I talk about my book Blockbuster Science: The Real Science in Science Fiction. A great podcast that I highly recommend subscribing to... and I'm not just saying this because I was on it. That might actually be a detractor.

A DSB tip:

If you are looking for another gig, here is a job where your work will get a lot of exposure, intimacy coordinator for movies and television. I wonder what the job training is.

Have I mentioned this is a cold winter?  Just saying.

Now for some Science:

The Physics Ig Nobel Prize for 2018 went to Marc-Antoine Fardin for using fluid dynamics to probe the question "Can a Cat Be Both a Solid and a Liquid?"   (The answer: depends)

The Ig Nobel Prizes honor achievements that make people laugh, and then think.

Interested in sports?
If this 30 for 30 doesn't have you in tears by the end... well.. then you have no heart. This is the Rocky IV story... the end communism (and how Creed's dancing got him killed).

Look what I found laying around Barnes & Noble (not me... the book). It is is calling out to you, "Come take me home."

Here is some cuteness to brighten your day (or night). 

Here is Ringo Biggles Woofington--First of his Name, Protector of the Realm, Eater of Milkbones.

 




No! Don't Take Ringo!








That's it for now. Stay tuned for more.

Follow on Twitter @DavidBernstein
Like me on Facebook at David Siegel Bernstein (Come and see all the fun.)
Follow on Instagram @davidsiegelbernstein

My Mostly Harmless Musings

"You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon? ... It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs."

       ―Han Solo

And now for the question I know you’ve been dying to know—but too afraid to (maybe) ask. 

How could Han have made this legendary run when a parsec is a measure of distance and not of time?

A fun and scientifically consistent explanation can be found in Blockbuster Science (The Real Science In Science Fiction). 

Coming October 2017 

Blockbuster Science Quote:
Not only am I a good read, I also make a great gift. Or so I've heard... (or rather I've told myself).

On the Subject of Han Solo:

It's true

Speaking of Science (sans the fiction), the kids and I had the honor of going on a long walk for science. Yes, I'm talking the March For Science. It was an amazing and diversified event. BUT it reminds me of a sad truth. The censorship of scientists is why Krypton exploded. Just saying. Anyway, here are few pictures.

Arriving at the March

Come on, where else can you see cool signs like this?

Heh

Public Service Announcement

This is what all the "Kids" are doing. And you need to know about it. Now. 

This internet thing may someday really take off. Who knows? 

Once again it's Comic Con season here in Philadelphia. Gwendolyn and I are making haste to get there!

 

I bumped into my old friend Spike (James Marsters).

Billie Piper wishing me Peace (after meeting the kids).

Oh, Crap.

This is an alert goes out to all my WRITING friends. The Philadelphia Writers Conference (the PWC to those in the know) is coming to town (guess which town) on June 9-11. The PWC conveniently coincides with Philly Beer Week. Coincidence? I wonder. If you see me see at either or both events, say hi. We can toast writers. 

That's it for this post. Stay tuned for more.

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This post has been approved by the girls.

My Mostly Harmless Musings

You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.

—Ray Bradbury

Ouch.
—David Siegel Bernstein

Sorry Mr. Yellow Hat

I know I’ve been naughty by not posting as often as I should. So here is a quickie. Quick because: this is THE week. The perfect temporal storm. What am I talking about? Good question (me). This week is Wizard World Comic Con (June 1-4), the Philadelphia Writers Conference (the PWC is Philly’s Premier Writers conference June 10-12) and interlaced through both is Philadelphia Beer Week (June 3-12). By the way, if you are going to the PWC—remember to say hi! We can share a brew.

Here I am combining beer and writing at a previous PWC.  

Here is a message to my writing friends (who are probably (I hope) goofing right now to read this).

I read this headline: Suicidal twin kills sister by accident.

Oh and Speaking of The Philly Comic Con

      Hi From the Clan. We wish you were here        Meeting a friend for drinks (don't judge me.)

Personal Insight: I'm LOLing on the outside while WTFing on the inside when people use acronyms in their posts.

Important news: Trader Joe's took something good (dare I say something perfect?) and reduced it to a joke—a violation of the tongue! I'm sorry to announce Joe's now offers a Sweet Potato and Kale pizza. Yes, I know there are those of you who will run out to buy this (and yes, I question your life choices).

In writing news: I’m expanding the section about extra dimensions in the string theory chapter of a nonfiction project. So yes, you could say the size (dimensions) of the chapter is growing. Sorry, cheap joke. I'm also working on a devilish short story. I think from the adjective in the last sentence—you can figure out who my misunderstood (or is she?) main character is. 

Books I'm reading (and that I recommend you give a try) 

On deck

That's it for this post. Stay tuned for more.

Follow on Twitter @DavidBernstein

      And remember

My Mostly Harmless Musings

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words

—Mark Twain

Everyone believes me when I tell them the above—except for my author friends. (Shoot, what do they know about writing anyway?)

I suggest backing away from the fence. Now! Smooth jazz and poetry may be coming.

Science fact: don’t forget, tonight the Moon will be visible from the Earth. The last time this happened was last night.

The musical fact: that there’s a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

Word of the Post: Namascray  (nah-mas-cray) The crazy in me recognizes and honors the crazy in you.


Here is some writing contest news. The 2016 Spring Forward Contest is now open! It is the Philadelphia Writers' Conference annual spring contest for the chance to win half price registration to this year's conference. If you happen to love writing, submit something under 1000 words. It can be anything. A short story, a poem, a lyric essay, a quick article, a funny little bon mot. Just get in by March 21.

These Comics are dedicated to my researcher friends

This one is for my writer friends

And now for an example of the inhumanity comic book fans have to deal with. Watch a weather presenter *accidentally* tear a rare comic book poster! This is from Good Morning Britain.

Does any besides me think this might be a good gift for Michelle?

Michelle: the answer had better be no.

Here is the only third grader to qualify for the finals of the Geography Bee (Think of a Spelling Bee only in this competition she crushed Geography facts). All other contestants were fourth graders.

Science Fair Domination: the launch of homemade rockets for fuel ratio-altitude testing.
Homeland Security did not show up.

A picture of the project documentarian

Michelle and I caught some interesting art at a Pop Art exhibit.

I'll leave you with some parental advice

Gratuitous picture that combines an attractive woman (Michelle), a golden car, and the football.









That's it for this post. Stay tuned for more.
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My Mostly Harmless Musings

I’d like to begin this post with the Writer’s Prayer:

Lord, give me Coffee to change the things I can change and Whiskey to accept the ones I cannot.

Inspirational Quotes of this month's post

"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books."

- Kanye West

"Whatever. Book's don't give autographs." - David Siegel Bernstein

Guess what is coming up. Give up? Already? That was quick. Anyway, the answer: the Philadelphia Writers’ Conference. The oldest writing conference in the country! So come to the Wyndham Hotel in Philadelphia June 12-14 and embrace your creativity. The festivities are kicked off by the renowned author Sara Shepard. She is the author of the New York Times Best Selling series Pretty Little Liars and The Lying Game, both of which have been made into hit shows on ABC Family. She is both the opening speaker and a workshop leader for a feature on writing for television and movies.

Stephen Fried will put his own unique stamp on the Keynote address on Saturday evening. Stephen has been writing for nearly forty years, and his work has garnered praise and acclaim from every quarter, ranging from the National Magazine Award (the magazine equivalent of the Pulitzer Prize), to the Medal of Honor from the Vidocq Society for his investigative piece "Cradle to Grave."  He even is credited with the creation of a new word (fashionista) by the Oxford English Dictionary, coined when writing his first book, Thing of Beauty, which discusses the life and death of Philadelphia born model Gia Garangi.

I'm on the board of directors--so you know it will be good. Besides the usual great workshops: Novel Writing, Short Stories, Writing for the YA market, Non-Fiction writing, Playwriting, and how to be a Social Media Ninja, the Master Classes this year are dedicated to Poetry and Screenwriting. Click on this link for the complete PWC agenda because there is a lot I haven't mentioned.

And as always, if you do come, remember to find me and say hi, or better yet, buy me a beer.

And now for some non-literary musings.

Look at the ads below: first off it is NOT legal to kill a woman (see add #7) and second is "Go Gay" still on the market? (see #8). Finally, what is inappropriate about add #9? My lady Michelle deliberately doesn't store-test so she can be.... oh never mind. 

It's time for a dance party! Just don't invite any Noble Gasses (watch this informative video to find out why).

Let's talk about Wizard World Philadelphia (Comic Con Philly) for a bit. The pictures below in particular.

Two facts about the Con: David Tennant was excited (I don't think it was about me) and I'll never tell anyone what Billie Piper saw (which might be about me).

Oh look--Seth and Gwendolyn got chomped up at the Con.

 

What Con is complete without Summer Glau? Answer: none.

These characters surprisingly weren't popular.

 

Now that Gwendolyn has met Westley (Caray Elwes) from the Princess Bride... I fear I now have to go around calling her Princess Buttercup. It made her day when he told her, "As you wish."

 

I couldn't figure out who this guy was. I had no clues. Any ideas?









Who doesn't recognize Burt Reynolds and Dee Snider (unlikely Comic Con guests, but who am I to judge)? 





That's it for this post. Stay tuned for more. 
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Bonus (memorial) Pic

And then there was only One